I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?