6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
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VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
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My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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