Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
