I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
