nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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