Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
