Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
