I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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