I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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