i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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