It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I had to cum in my sink.
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