You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
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I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
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I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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