i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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