Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Tell her she can't have a vagina
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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