Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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