***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?