The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here