There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.