Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.