So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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