gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
