Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize