I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
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