You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
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