he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
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