Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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