You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
