omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
