She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Randomize
