There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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