in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
