I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
