I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
