can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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