i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
