there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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