Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
they need to just BURY HIM!
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize