i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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