Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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