you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
