I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize