Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
