i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
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