If i could tip my vagina, i would.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Randomize
