I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
