Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
