Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
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