It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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