either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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