If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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