Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
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