I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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