Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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