Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
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