I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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