Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Mom said you looked used
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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