xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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