i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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