My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
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