i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I need to sanitize my soul.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
