Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
