Well douche your snatch and let's go!
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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