Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I will be naked everywhere
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
