The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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