wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Randomize
