what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
