dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
