I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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