OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
