You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
