WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
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